The Secret to the Secret Place
In this extraordinary year, 2020, I'm so glad I
learnt this secret all those years ago. Not that my
life has been free of testing by any means, but so
far I have not been the panicking mess I was in
the first anecdote below.
When I thought I was going under
“I thought all those scary things were over!” I all but shouted at God.
He’d rescued me from drowning - I knew He really had, but . . . I’d been terrified.
That seed of terror left me with a question.
Hadn’t God’s protection worked that time? He'd allowed Jenny and me to be washed right out to sea among giant, sinister waves. Terrifying waves, for me.
(See Stories of Life book, A Chicken can make a Difference – my story When I Think I’m Going Under also my blog post When I think I’m going under on godwhispersjgt.blogspot.com)
I’d always expected that now I was a Christian, all my narrow escapes (and I seemed to specialise in them) would be over. Surely it was part of the Christian package for life to be calm and cosy. Safe.
Apparently it wasn’t after all.
Does God provide protection?
I worried about that a lot in the subsequent days.
A few other smaller mishaps clinched it. I was desperate. I had to find the safety I’d expected God to provide.
A close friend invited me to stay in her beautiful antique-furnished flat while her flatmate was away. I seized the chance to spend quality time with Margy and prayer time while she was at work. I would seek God until I found the answer I needed.
I sought God in desperation
Wanting to feel alone with Him, I rose very early each morning. In the chilly darkness, I tiptoed to the kitchen, onto its ice-cold lino, made a cup of tea, then huddled beside my bed with a blanket draped over my dressing gown. I sipped tea and prayed.
I pleaded with God. There must be a key. I was desperate.
A faint light crept along the eastern horizon and I shivered in the cold air.
The first glimmer
God?
A clear thought filled my mind. He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty (Ps 91:1).
I wrote it down carefully. I had probably never read Psalm 91 before.
Did God want me to live close to Him, protected in the shadow of His presence? Would I find safety in my relationship with Him?
But how do I get there?
Unless You sovereignly presence Yourself, of course.
Come to Me as your Father. The words were clear in my spirit.
I began to talk to Him as if He really were my father.
I knew, theologically, He really was, but . . . that aspect had somehow never seemed real.
As I talked to my heavenly Father, His presence filled the room. I felt new.
I knew, deep in my spirit, I had my key.
The sky turned to gold as the sun slipped over the housetops. Soon the early sunlight blazed into the clouds with brilliant streaks of rose and orange.
So, little by little I learnt - and am still learning - to live in His presence. And to feel safe, mostly. Being me, I still have my occasional moments!
(Those familiar with my swept-out-to-sea story may add, And I've learnt to obey the law of the land, e.g. Swim only on patrolled beaches.)
A great reminder, Jeanette. Psalm 91 has been a favourite of mine ever since a friend shared it with me when we were staying in a 'rough' neighbourhood in New York City when I was in my early 20s. I've gone back to it many times. It doesn't necessarily mean that nothing bad will ever happen to us. But if we come under God's protection, nothing can ultimately harm us. Thanks for sharing.
ReplyDeleteThanks for commenting on the site, Nola. Yes, it's been my 'hiding place' for a long time and yes, re nothing can ultimately harm us. Plenty of testings though! I guess you we with YWAM in NYC? ( No need to reply online unless you want to.)
ReplyDeleteAnd I am still ever learning!! I love your article - thanks for sharing. Sure is a timely word for this season. I so love Psalm 91.
ReplyDeleteThanks so much for commenting, Arlene. Yes, a word for this season.
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